Now that the holiday season is behind us and the decorations and gifts have been put away….have you written your thank you notes? How about your children? Did they text grandma or just skip it all together?
I was shocked recently to hear a panel of 3 moms on a popular morning television show suggest that a handwritten thank you note from children wasn’t necessary. A text or email could do the trick. Really? When did this happen?
Today, there are more options than ever for affordable children’s stationery. All of the above examples came from Tiny Prints and took me just seconds to find.
Most children will groan when you tell them that they need to write thank you notes. That’s ok….that’s the same reaction you probably get when you tell them no dessert without eating their vegetables or it’s time to take a break from their screens.
Writing a thank you note becomes the recognition that someone
1) thought about them
2) purchased something for them
3) wrapped something for them
4) mailed or delivered something to them
So, why is that deserving of written thanks and not just a quick text?
I believe it is the level of the interaction that deserves an equal reciprocation. A thoughtful, real world kindness deserves a thoughtful, real world thanks, i.e., a thank you note for a gift. Just as an abbreviated, quick question deserves an abbreviated quick response, i.e., a text.
Writing a thank you note can also be a learning opportunity.
1) They can practice their penmanship, spelling and grammar.
2) They can be creative…use colored pens, pencils, crayons and stickers to decorate the note.
3) They learn how good it feels to think about someone else.
So, how do you make it fun?
1) Order personalized stationery for your child. There is a sense of pride when something bears their name. Or make up something on your computer for free.
2) Get fun stamps….my sons enjoyed selecting ones from the new Harry Potter series
3) Write out a basic script for them to follow
4) Do it together. I sat down with my sons, ages 9 & 11 and we all wrote our thank you notes at the same time. Like most things, model the behavior you want them to have.
Ultimately, when they need to write a thank you note after a job interview or in appreciation of a teacher’s recommendation, they’ll have the experience and tools to do it right.
Good manners will never go out of style! Or will they?
Elizabeth,
Good old fashioned hand written Thank-you notes do seem to be dismissed by many. I keep reminding my own children that the Thank-you notes need to be written in order to build an "attitude of gratitude."
I think it is rather rude to not even honor a gift with a simple hand written note.
My husband and I often think we should make them write the note before the gift is given. How do you handle this with your sons? Do you have to sit with them in order to prompt the note?
pve
I'm amazed how many wedding or shower gifts I give and never receive a thank you note. We just don't teach it anymore. Great post.
I too am amazed at how thoughtless our society has come. A thank you note is a must. It pains me that no one, especially younger people, never ever send one.
AMEN Sister! I too force the thank you note and my kids groan, but they know it's coming the second they accept a gift. My Jewish kids even had this conversation:
kid 1 "I wish we celebrated both Christmas and Chanukah"
kid 2 "Yeah, double the presents"
kid 3 "but then we'd have to write double the thank you notes"
I agree wholeheartedly! My kids have had their own stationery since they were babies. As soon as those little chubbies could write a letter, they learned how to write "Thank you" with me filling in the rest. As young teens, they get it without me asking any longer.
Elizabeth, I knew you must have been raised in the South!
(Not to imply that others don't have good manners, but it is just so EXPECTED here!) Thank you notes are still an important part of our culture although, we are catching up with the rest of the country by trying to get away with email, etc! Please continue to encourage your children even when they groan! After all, good manners never go out of style! 🙂
I couldn't agree more, Elizabeth! I think it's sad that the Thank You note is being abandoned for other less personal forms of communication. I remember my Mom making me send notes and dragging my feet as if she had asked me to eat a plate of spinach. But I'm so glad she did! Great tips here for making it fun for kids!
I paint my own thank yous now and look forward to this task – it makes me think of the person who gave the gift and how lucky I am to have them in my life!
Thank you for this post! Here's to keeping the art of gratitude alive and well! XOXO
You are so right, Elizabeth! Thank you notes are such a simple courtesy that, sadly, are not sent nearly enough. Thankfully, my children have embraced the practice (maybe too much – they get offended when they don't receive a note!) and I believe it has served them well in their adult lives. Thanks for the reminder though…I need to send my Christmas notes ASAP.
Stay warm today! xoxo
An email is NOT acceptable! My sister-in-law gave me personalized stationary for my 4 1/2 month daughter & I'm psyched about it. She will be made to write them herself as soon as she can!
I am happy to say most of my 30 something friends write real thank you notes for occasions. Hope that sticks around!
I so agree with you Elizabeth! I have always made my three children write thank you notes while they were growing up, and I am pleased to say that now that they are in their 20's and have left home, they still automatically do this. Sadly, it does seem to be on the decline amongst others…..
A hand written note means so much! Good post, thank you.
Sophia
Great post. My five year old does all of her own Thank you notes. She draws a picture and then writes the gift giver's name, a brief thank you with gift name and signs her name. Next year I will require her to write why she enjoys gift. She likes the coloring and stickers on envelope and this will instill in her the value of appreciation and effort someone went through to give gift.
Most of our family/friends do not send thank yous. I don't hold it against them but I do place an emphasis in our home.
Bravo! I so agree…..there is NOTHING that can replace a heartfelt handwritten note. I love getting them and by the same token love to write them. In fact wrote out a few today….of course gorgeous stationery helps:) I agree also about teaching our kids to do the same, once they know its expected it becomes second nature.
Hope your 2014 is off to a great start Elizabeth, I am exited for what 2014 will bring and to see what will be sprouting over at Pretty Pink Tulips in the new year!!
Happy to be back in blogland…my happy place:)
Great post!!! It should be required reading for EVERYONE!!! Barbara P from MA
Elizabeth,
I could not agree more. Perhaps the thought that handwritten cards are not necessary came from the same people that think that cursive writing is not necessary for children to learn these days.
Whatever the case, a note at any age is the perfect way to thank you and to stay in touch.
Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth
I absolutely agree. Jeanne mentioned your post, so I had to come by and read it. Having my kids write thank you notes from the very beginning is one of the best things I've done, now they could never imagine receiving a gift or kindness without expressing their gratitude in writing. I bought them fun stationary, stamps with their pictures on them, and would write out a little "fill in the blanks" script {in the early days}. Phillip Galanes {Social Q's} said the same as you, the gift giving transaction isn't complete until the thank you note is sent. Without a note, the giver is left wondering if they got the gift, liked it, or what? This is great!